Funny how life's timing works out, isn't it. 

For those of you who have been around my postings etc., over the past few years, it must have looked a lot like a car trying to get started, sputtering and spurting. 

I'm taking some time away to launch this, launching that, and focusing on this right now. 

Here is your very friendly reminder that what people allow you to see is only part of the picture. 

What it looks like on the backside of the curtain… is an awakening. 

I've been shaking off decades, a lifetime of the invisible burdens of other people's expectations. 

"You should." 

"Well, when I went through (something in no way similar except in the word used to describe it), what I had to do was ____________." 

"You just need to _________." 

"Have you ever thought about __________?" 

And my personal favorite, "You will never heal until you forgive." 

Here's the kicker, none of that was in alignment with values and truths that I hold near and dear that are a part of my core being. 

It was all that other people thought I should be or do. 

It has always been the same. 

"Grow up, fall in love, get married, happily ever after." 

"If you get a degree, your financial life is almost guaranteed." 

"If you show up and work hard, everything will work out." 

"Having kids is the greatest aspiration a woman can have." 

"If you treat him right, he will care for you." 

I do believe that some of those were true, in ways, in past generations. I also think that none of those are true now. 

Go ahead and throw the tomatoes at me. 

Yes, having children is the greatest thing a woman can do. It is the most demanding, rewarding, life-changing experience a woman can have. 

I also think sacrificing yourself and what makes YOU you for someone else, even your children, will only serve to erase you. 

And that is why so many women are now choosing to not have children. They don't want to live their life for someone else. And that's OK, if they're making that choice it's what they believe is best for them.

If you're over 35, how many of your friends' parents divorced or split up after the kids left the house? We used to call it 'Empty Nest Syndrome' when the kids left, and suddenly the woman didn't know what to do with herself. 

And why would she? A life spent living for everyone else cost her herself. 

She had willingly, lovingly erased herself one little bit at a time. 

So why are we so against a woman holding on to some part of herself? 

For her and her happiness even being gasp a priority in her own life? 

Make it make sense. 

Back to behind my curtain at what my life has honestly looked like over the past few years. 

If you need a visual - it's been a lot like shopping for shoes. Except here's the thing, ladies, you can only have at most 3 pairs because that's about everything you can juggle without getting institutionalized.

"Those are pretty; I've always loved red, and stilettos are HAWT. I'll try those in size 9." 

"Well, maybe a 9.5." 

"No, a 10." 

"Ok, I guess those aren't the shoes for me." 

"Let's try those over there… they LOOK comfortable." 

"Wait, this is like walking on clouds… this is pretty nice." 

"Why are my calves hurting so much? I need to sit down." 

"OUCH. These felt nice at first, but their weight made walking hard." 

So you keep trying on things based on their appearance and what you expect them to feel like. 

Except, living a life based on other people's expectations is more like… shopping for shoes and someone else picking them out for you. 

They'll never fit right. I don't care how much like your mom's feet yours are - they are not the same, and the paths that you walk are not the same. 

They are not meant for you. 

Alright, Ms. Can't Be Wrong, how are we supposed to find the right shoes? 

It's simple, really. 

One-word answer… 

Blindfolded. 

Wait, what? 

Stick with me here… 

If you suddenly try on shoes blindfolded, you're not worried about their appearance. You're concerned about how they FEEL. You're worried about FIT and COMFORT. 

I guarantee you won't pick the red stilettos. 

And this is what I have learned over the past couple of years. 

Some shoes don't work for me for a variety of reasons. 

Some shoes were never even an option for me to pick from. 

Some shoes are available, but not in my size. 

Some shoes hurt my calves or my toes. 

Some shoes don't have enough arch support. 

This metaphor works in friendships, relationships, business, business partnerships, and your personal life where you ARE the main character. 

I have had this need to write. I don't know where it comes from, but I know it's always been there. I was keeping a journal in the 2nd grade. I started a school newspaper in 5th grade. It is a core part of who I am and what I am meant to do. 

And I keep trying to carve room out of my life for writing. And I don't mean… words on a page. Even Chatgpt can do that; but no matter how fantastic that tool is, it can't create. 

I mean transforming what is in my head into a semi-coherent line of words that someone else will enjoy, and after reading, it will hopefully take something away that makes their life easier, or better or encourages them to try on more shoes until they find the ones that fit. 

(Throwing this in here because it's crucial… You also have the right to eliminate shoes that don't fit. You have my permission; go ahead.) 

So for those who have followed me for a while and seen the spurts and stops without knowing what's happening behind the curtain… here it is. 

Transformation. 

My whole life from top to bottom. 

And sometimes things work, and sometimes they don't. 

Sometimes you try on some shoes, and they don't quite fit, but it leads you to try on a similar pair that do. 

Sometimes you know that you belong in two-strap open-toe sandals, but there are still 80 versions of those to try on in 8 different color combinations. 

And the only way to know is to try. And keep trying. 

And guess what - that's precisely what life is. Trying. 

And if you expect to get it right the first time, you might be just settling for the first pair of shoes that kind of fit. 

You deserve shoes that make your feet feel amazing - like you can run, jump, hell, even skip your way down the path before you. 

That's what I want for all of us, including myself. 

A life that makes you feel joyful. 

A job that makes you feel fulfilled. 

A family that makes you feel loved. 

And a home to protect it all. 

And a really, really, really well-fitting pair of shoes.